Synergology is the study of body language, or the analysis of gestures, posture and facial expressions to determine what someone might be feeling or thinking.
The field came to popularity in the 1990s, along with the belief that our bodies can say more than our words, even without our realising it. Véronique Millet, who splits her working life between Lorraine and Luxembourg, is an educator and synergology specialist. We asked her about ten professional situations that are potentially sensitive.
Situation 1: the interview
Paperjam: How can a manager show openness?
Véronique Millet: The first impression is fundamental for both the candidate and the manager, because it will stay with you throughout the interview. Being at ease and putting people at ease are two key factors in inviting the candidate to be as authentic as possible. Fluid breathing and palms open on the table are two examples of good practice. Add to this a calm voice, fluid body posture and a position on the chair where you’re facing, and are slightly tilted towards, the candidate. The manager should avoid sitting in a corner, as this might make the interviewer feel distanced. Similarly, the positioning of the axis of the head is relevant: a manager who is a good listener will naturally orientate the axis of the head more to the left.
Another interesting point concerns silences. The right balance of silences, combined with a coherent posture, reinforces the image of a manager who is a good listener, self-confident and respectful of what the other person has to say.
Situation 2: announcing a difficult decision
What mistakes should be avoided to avoid appearing cold, hesitant or too authoritarian?
Announcing a difficult decision can generate various emotional states, such as anger, fear or contempt. These states trigger physiological changes in our bodies, revealing our non-verbal language. Our thoughts and verbal language flow from this, not the other way round.
If we take the example of contempt or even anger, we can see ascending gestures, such as the sagittal axis (head upwards), also known as the “axis of hierarchy,” which can express the idea of superiority, and therefore of distance. Ascending V-shaped hands also reinforce this same feeling: “I am the one who knows, the one who represents authority.” In the example of fear, the gaze may become far away because the information is not known or is difficult to announce, with perhaps the body even turning backwards and showing a desire to flee this moment. Of course, if you’re aware of all this, you can guess that these are gestures to be avoided. As a synergologist, my advice is to change your emotional state beforehand. Instead of thinking, “I have to deal with a difficult announcement,” it’s better to think, “I have this message to share with this person.” As soon as you read these two sentences, I’m sure you won’t be feeling the same emotions.
If I get caught up in an emotional state linked to fear, my body will express it and my verbal language will follow.
Situation 3: managing conflict
How can a manager adopt a posture of calmness and control without giving the impression of being defensive or aggressive?
I’m going to take the same approach as in the previous question by asking this question: what emotional state should I adopt when managing a conflict? If I get caught up in an emotional state linked to fear, my body will express it and my verbal language will follow. The state of mind to adopt is neutrality and the manager must remain focused on the factual elements linked to the conflict. This will help both parties avoid being influenced by their emotions, which would ultimately make it more difficult to find a concrete solution. These two elements, neutrality and factual elements, will lead to a posture of appeasement and control. The posture will be neutral, with, for example, a position on the central chair.
An assertive gaze linked to the factual elements shared will carry more weight and lend more credibility. This should be combined with open gestures to show a willingness to connect. And the idea of bringing the two parties together, of “building together,” can be read in the joined hands.
Situation 4: a team meeting
What gestures can encourage commitment and prevent a distant, bored or domineering appearance?
The word “commitment” says it all. Leading a team meeting means wanting to get key messages across, but really it means ensuring that those messages are heard, understood and retained. These three words are fundamental to the way we speak. They answer a precise question: what is my intention? The answer will determine your attitude. On this particular subject, am I trying to convince them, inform them, shake them up, get them involved? The list can go on. From this intention, your body and your mind will follow. And your different intentions, depending on the subjects discussed, will set the pace for your meeting.
Let’s imagine: you’re on a subject where the intention is to convince. Your body, firmly anchored to the ground, will be facing the audience, with a broad, assertive gesture, sometimes even with the fingers, thumb and index finger of the right hand, in a pincer movement to support a key word. Your gaze will confidently encompass all the participants. And your voice, a fascinating subject to study, will be poised, rhythmic and accompanied by micro-silences to bring out certain figures or words.
Situation 5: welcoming a new employee
What body language can be used to establish a climate of trust right from the first contact?
You’re probably familiar with that Coco Chanel quote: “You don’t get a second chance to make a good impression.” This idea is interesting in that it refers to your brain, which feeds on your intuition, which is unique to every individual, to make sense of any situation. Yes, your brain doesn’t like a vacuum. The first meeting is therefore important to give the best of yourself, because this first impression will be the foundation of the meeting. Two bodily expressions are perfectly suited to the idea of establishing a climate of trust: the handshake should be firm and confident, while making initial eye contact. The whole thing is enhanced by a smile, a real smile, the kind talked about by the neurologist Guillaume Duchenne, a pioneer in medical photography in the 19th century. A genuine smile is marked by the contraction of the zygomatic muscles, which generate a balanced smile on both sides of the face. And the detail to look out for is the tiny wrinkles formed around the eyes. They don’t lie and are in no way linked to age. So if you want to put on a brave face, start with a sincere smile and you’ll see that the magic of mirror neurons will not leave your interlocutor speechless.
Based in Nancy and Luxembourg, Véronique Millet is a body language specialist. Photo: DR
Situation 6: delegating a task
How can you avoid giving the impression of disengagement or excessive control?
Know why you make certain choices and make that clear while listening to suggestions. This way of looking at things is an interesting basis for approaching the delegation of a task. Also think about your choice of words, especially verbs. Your conviction about delegating a task will be the driving force behind adopting positive language that encourages autonomy and responsibility, while simultaneously recognising the skills and contributions of the employee. We are interested in reading body language, but it cannot be dissociated from verbal language. As mentioned, the verbalisation of our thoughts is the result of our emotions. Defining your intention beforehand will influence your behaviour and your verbal language. In this particular case, positive communication reinforces the feeling of belonging and shows that the change is part of a process of mutual development, not excessive control.
Situation 7: managing a disagreement with management
How do you maintain a stance that expresses respect and confidence without appearing submissive or arrogant?
Managing a disagreement with management is often a source of stress. Stress that can lead to submission, arrogance, anger or aggression. These are generally bad friends when it comes to making compromises and finding common solutions. Before the interview, it is important to focus on the factual points to be presented and the solutions to be suggested. Coming up with solutions will reinforce your confidence and your desire to continue building together. I deliberately didn’t say “defend” because that already puts the person in a position to attack. Your conviction in the facts will lead you to adopt a straight head axis. A downward axis will give off a sign of submission or a lack of confidence. Keeping eye contact fluid and respectful will reinforce the desire to find a solution, while remaining convinced of the ideas presented.
There is a new element that is relevant to this situation. Proximity is the physical distance between two people. If this is not respected, it can affect the relationship. In the context of a disagreement, the desire to convince, or anger at the context, can lead to this distance being encroached upon. This applies whether two people are sitting or standing. That’s why it’s so important to keep an eye on whether the other person backs away, so as to adopt an appropriate distance.
Silence is a magic wand
Situation 8: a “refocusing” interview
What gestures can help to get a firm message across without creating discomfort or excessive resistance?
I often say: “to be convincing, you have to be convinced.” Your conviction in the message you want to get across is essential. It will give you the assurance you need to avoid opening the door to doubt or generating too much opposition. The aim of a reframing interview is to establish constructive communication rather than confrontation.
Sitting firmly in the chair, with both feet on the ground and your body upright, will convey an image of control and seriousness without aggression. A few breathing exercises beforehand will help you to control your voice better, focusing on a low intonation and a measured flow. Positioning your hands on the table and using open, firm gestures will strengthen your position. For example, pointing your finger could be perceived as aggressive or accusatory, generating an inappropriate reaction such as silence and anger. There’s also a tool I play with a lot to capture attention and give strength to the message. I’m talking about the power of silence. In this situation, silence will invite the candidate to go deeper into their answers, to highlight a point that needs to be emphasised. Silence is a magic wand when used in the right proportions and with the right finesse.
Situation 9: giving a speech in public or to the team
How can you avoid gestural tics that betray stress or a lack ofconfidence?
Fighting our emotions is a pointless battle. Often the stress associated with speaking in public stems from our limiting thoughts, our false beliefs, our level of demands and our lack of confidence. Before the fateful moment, we invent the future: “I’m not going to make it,” “What will everyone think of me?” “What will happen if I forget my ideas?” “Will I be perfect?” This last question is the first point I raise during a coaching session. And I give the answer straight away: no, you won’t be perfect. You won’t know what other people think of you. You may have blanks, lose your memory… anything could happen. These words help you to think differently, so that you can concentrate on the pleasure of speaking, ask yourself how you can set the pace and captivate your audience. This new way of thinking will get rid of any gestural tics.
A final piece of theatre advice: visualise your stress by imagining that it is represented by two concrete blocks anchoring you to the ground. This will give you confidence. The rest of your body will be left to express yourself when you speak.
Situation 10: listening to a colleague in trouble
What body signals should you adopt to express genuine empathy and avoid a posture that could be perceived as condescending or disinterested?
As I’ve already said, your state of being will influence your bodily expression. Your sincerity in wanting to help the other person is essential for creating a bond and eliciting positive feedback. In synergology, we read the gestures on the heart side, on the left, and those concerning the other, the work, the outside, on the right.
Anything that touches us, concerns us, or that we like prompts us to show the left side of our face. This is very easy to understand when you look at seduction gestures. To show empathy, we want to create a link with the other person and show the left side of our face in a semi-conscious way. Have fun looking at the Mona Lisa or any other portrait in a museum, and look at the axis of the head of each of them. This left axis can be reinforced by a slight rotary movement to the right. This link created will be an invitation to show the candidate our willingness to listen, to understand and to talk to find a solution. By observing the axis of their head, you will have information that can guide you in their ability to open up or not.
This article in French.